Two of a Kind
by Iseijin
Summary: It's hard enough to satisfy one Tallest, but two! This short little piece features our favorite Tallests in an unusual yet humorous situation. One-shot dedicated to my sister.


TWO OF A KIND  
  
Disclaimer: All known characters belong to their respective owner(s). Unknown characters belong to me. I am not making any profit from this writing. This story is purely to entertain.  
  
Author's note: I never really asked for a sister but fate decided that I would have a twin sister no less. At first, I never really accepted her because she would become a threat to my position. As time progressed, so did we, and we learned to share our power and responsibility; which meant our little brother had no peace. So this little piece is dedicated to my twin sister whom I can't live with or without. We had our share of senseless bickering and we more than often clash in our views, but no matter what happens she will always be MY co-Tallest!  
  
****************************************************  
  
Space, as peaceful as it seems is not always that serene. Natural forces of colossal power are at never-ending work, shaping the cosmos and the existence of those depending on them. Yet there are a few artificial forces that can compete the might of the universe...one of them is closing in right now. The Massive.  
  
Inside the control room of this imposing spaceship the many crewmembers are busy operating the various complex machines and programs needed to protect the most valuable cargo of the Massive; the snacks...oh, and their Almighty Tallests too, the primary consumers of said valuable snacks.  
  
A red colored communications officer was occupied in checking a central processing unit when the screen in front of him began to beep in a sequencing manner. He looked over to the screen before attending to it, typing on the panel to find the source of the signal. A screen popped up in front of him that displayed a large, non-Irken, sleek military ship surrounded by five smaller ships of the same sleek design aiming their drawn weapons at a group of almost 20 bulky-looking passenger and freighter ships.  
  
Nearby, a purple colored communications officer looked over the other's shoulder, curious at what his coworker was attending to.  
  
"Those are Mahirian warships," the red one said, "I wonder what they are doing so far away from their planet?"  
  
The purple one paused a moment before saying, "That formation could only mean that they are about to perform an execution on those other ships. Nothing that should concern us."  
  
"Well, whatever the reason they are in our way." He turned to another red one next to him, twirling his finger in the air, "Change the route coordinates. We are going around them."  
  
Knobs were turned and buttons pushed. The ship's engines were being reprogrammed for the modification as the Massive slowed down almost to a halt and started to maneuver to the side.  
  
The Tallests felt this change of pace. Tallest Purple turned to the communications officer.  
  
"Hey! Why are we changing route?" he asked through snack-inflated cheeks.  
  
The red communications officer quickly stood up, "Uh...there are Mahirian warships about to perform an execution, we deemed it would be safer to take a temporary detour sir," he responded sheepishly.  
  
Tallest Purple blinked, "Hmm?"  
  
"Open a visual connection to the Mahirian ship's coordinates," Tallest Red's voice called out.  
  
The giant screen in front of the Tallests changed view to that of the Mahirian sleek warships, though outnumbered, clearly intimidating the defenseless passenger and freighter ships. The five smaller warships were herding the other group to cluster as close as they could as the larger ship took position in front of them, their weapons gleaming brightly from the many surrounding stars.  
  
Tallest Red happily gulped his soda, "Cool, an execution maneuver! Dinner and a show!" he proclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, but they're not military vessels..." said Tallest Purple, slightly remorsed.  
  
"What do we care Purple? I'm sure the Mahirians know what they are doing. Now quite down and enjoy the show while it's still in view."  
  
Not a few seconds could have passed before Tallest Purple sharply turned to the communications officer again.  
  
"Stop the Massive!" he ordered.  
  
The communications officer nodded to his superior. Within the next second the Massive had slowed down to a complete stop, now hanging motionlessly in the vacuum of space.  
  
"Why'd you do that for?!" exclaimed Tallest Red, a hint of anger in his voice. Then he turned to the same communications officer, "Continue our course and if you do that again, I'll...do something very bad...to you!"  
  
Yet before the communications officer had a chance to do anything, Tallest Purple exclaimed,  
  
"Don't you dare disobey my orders! I'm the Almighty Tallest!"  
  
Tallest Red scoffed, "So am I! Don't disobey my orders either!"  
  
The two communications officers looked at each other, total confusion evident in their eyes.  
  
"What do we do?" whispered the red one to his coworker.  
  
The other red one shrugged, "I...I don't know..."  
  
"Open a communication link to the leader of this Mahirian company!" commanded Tallest Purple, rudely pushing his co-ruler out of the way. The sound of screaming followed by a loud crash could be heard in the background.  
  
They're making such a big deal out of this... thought the communications officer as he carried out his orders.  
  
While the link was being enabled, Tallest Purple turned to another communications officer,  
  
"You! I want you to take care of something first..."  
  
Outside, a few light-years away, the Mahirian ships were in formation and ready to fire their weapons at the passenger and freighter ships. Two of the smaller warships were on either side of the larger ship while the fifth one was located just below it. A Mahirian military maneuver.  
  
"Ready..." the Mahirian captain's voice could be heard through the ship's intercom.  
  
"Aim.."  
  
Weapons whirred as they collected the last bits of energy.  
  
Suddenly, a laser beam from seemingly nowhere hit one of the smaller warships sending it crashing into the one adjacent to it.  
  
"What the?!" the captain's voice roared, "What's the meaning of this?! Who dares?!"  
  
All warships turned simultaneously in the direction of the shot and saw the Massive inching its way towards them. The Irken ship oversized the captain's vessel by over tenfold but they still didn't back down.  
  
Back inside the Massive, the Mahirians had opened communication.  
  
"Who do you think you are, interfering with Mahirian objectives?!" the Mahirian captain, a short, grumpy alien with a large, brightly colorized crest on his head in a seeming Napoleonic attire and poise, cried out.  
  
Tallest Purple sneered,  
  
"Guess..."he said in a sing-song voice.  
  
The Mahirian captain slammed his fists, "I don't care a slaughtering rat's rear end! I don't have time for guessing games!"  
  
"Really?" queried Tallest Purple, slightly bemused at the fact that they weren't aware of his eminence, nevertheless, "Let me ask you something. Have you heard of the Irken Empire?"  
  
That caught the captain's attention and it was exactly the reaction Tallest Purple was looking for. So far, so good.  
  
"Yes..." the captain answered, growing slightly nervous.  
  
"Well, I'm one of its leaders!" he proudly thrusted his chest out, "Almighty Tallest Purple!"  
  
The captain gasped and nearly choked on himself; his coloration had begun to grow paler.  
  
"Oh-oh my..." he looked around nervously, sweating, "What can I do for such presence?" he said, trying to sound collected yet he couldn't keep his façade much longer and suddenly raised his hands in front of his face, screaming, "Please don't kill me!"  
  
Tallest Purple smiled, this kind of power never got old, "Tempting...but first, let those civilian ships go! They have nothing to do with military stuff!"  
  
"But – but as much as we would that's impossible sir. We have reason to believe that opposition warriors are in there. Besides, the orders of our leaders cannot be denied..."  
  
Slightly annoyed, Tallest Purple scoffed, "I'll take care of your leaders some other time."  
  
The captain nodded, "Well...I...whatever you say sir!" He turned to his soldiers, "Let the prisoners go!"  
  
"I prohibit you to do that!" Tallest Red's voice bellowed as he shoved Tallest Purple out of his way.  
  
"Who? What?" queried the captain, growing more nervous and confused.  
  
"I'm Almighty Tallest Red! The other leader of the Irken Empire yada, yada, yada...and I command you to resume to your business!"  
  
Tallest Purple ran up to his co-ruler's side, flailing his arms like a small child,  
  
"Quit it Red! I know you're only going against to annoy me!" he whined.  
  
"Serves you right!"  
  
Both Tallests glared at each other, growling slightly.  
  
"Captain, I order you to immediately execute those bandits!" Red cried out.  
  
Not to be outdone, Purple followed with a, "Captain, open your mouth and I'll blow your brain meats!"  
  
While the two Tallests argued, The Mahirian captain was left in quite a predicament. He quickly looked around for an answer as to what he could do from his men but they all strategically avoided making eye contact with him. In a fit of anxiety, he grabbed his nearest guard, shaking him vigorously,  
  
"Lend me a hand here! Don't just stand there...standing!"  
  
The guard stammered with his words, "B-but Captain, sir, there's nothing we can do!"  
  
Suddenly, the Tallests voices called the captain out. The captain nervously looked up to his screen to see Tallest Red and Tallest Purple looking down at him with scowling looks and pinned down antennae.  
  
"C'mon, make up your mind!"  
  
"We're waiting!" the Tallests said in an irritated tone.  
  
The Mahirian captain, not knowing what to do (and the fact that he was scared senseless didn't help either) quickly thought of an alternate solution.  
  
"Uh...What if I executed one half and I let the other half go, would you be satisfied then?" the apprehension in his voice was clearly evident.  
  
The Tallests shook their heads, "I'm afraid not!" they said in unison.  
  
The Mahirian ships were slowly backing away, putting as much distance as they could from the Massive.  
  
"Are you decided or what?!" said Tallest Purple, crossing his arms.  
  
"Yeah!" Tallest Red declared, "Patience has a limit you know!"  
  
One Mahirian administrator turned to his captain saying, "They're getting angry Captain! You have to decide quickly! We can't compare against the Massive's power!"  
  
"I know that you dolt!" the captain bellowed, jumping on his seat in anger. The pressure was getting to him. "There's only one thing left to do!" he said, taking a heroic stance.  
  
All of a sudden, the Mahirian ships dashed out of sight, completely disappearing from the scene.  
  
The Tallests certainly didn't expect that sort of reaction and were left staring at an empty screen.  
  
Tallest Purple blinked, slightly dumbfounded, "Hey, where'd they go?"  
  
A communications officer responded, "It seems that they have deserted, My Tallest."  
  
"What an militia," Tallest Red scoffed, "Officials who would rather dishonor themselves than make a SIMPLE decision..."  
  
Soon after the occurrence, the Massive was once again gliding through the stars pushing meteorites to make them collide against nearby planets or other meteorites. It was one of the Tallests favorite pastimes (aside from making their crew perform ridiculous tasks), it was five points for a meteorite, ten if it hit a planet.  
  
While the Tallests were busy amusing themselves with the meteorites (Red was winning with a 25 point lead) the communications officers of before were quietly conversing in the background as they managed the many panels in front of them.  
  
"So what happened to the detained ships?" the purple one asked.  
  
"Oh, we let them go," the red one responded, not taking his eyes from the program he was monitoring, "Freighter and passenger ships are usually not important."  
  
"Ah..."  
  
Suddenly, the computers started beeping wildly again. The communications officers quickly began to scan the programs in search of the problem.  
  
"What is it THIS time?!" Tallest Red cried out, annoyed that his game had to halt.  
  
"It seems that a large group is gaining proximity to us, My Tallests," said a communications officer, typing at the computer.  
  
"Who?"  
  
The communications officer typed a little longer before responding, "I'm opening a visual link right now sir!"  
  
The large screen showed the 20 passenger and freighter ships of before right in front of them except now they didn't appear as defenseless due to the many assortments of guns and weapons protruding from their ships' flanks. Indeed, they seemed more like top military war machines than simple civilian vessels  
  
"My Tallests," a purple communications officer in the balcony called, "They are requesting an audio link. Should I grant it?"  
  
The two Tallests looked at each other, slightly confused.  
  
"Whatever," Tallest Purple said, shrugging his shoulders, "But put our weapons on a stand-by mode."  
  
"Yes, My Tallest."  
  
The Massive whirred as its own weapons, a frightening variety of guns and beam cannons, were drawn out into the open.  
  
"Audio link enabled!" the computer voice declared.  
  
"Please, do not shoot!" a low male voice from the other ships pleaded, "We mean no harm and dare not test our limits against the might of the Massive!"  
  
Tallest Red smirked, "I see our reputation precedes us," he said contently.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." said Tallest Purple, uninterestingly waving hand in the air, "So what's with all the weapons if you're acting so peacefully? Huh? Answer that!"  
  
"Uh...you see," the voice continued, "thanks to the Irken presence we are alive. If it wasn't for Almighty Tallest Purple's intrusion the Mahirians would have surely killed us."  
  
Another voice joined, "We are the last of the defenses in this war against the Mahirian army. We had opted for these seemingly innocent disguises but the Mahirians saw through us and disabled our weapons. Thank you Almighty Tallest Purple for butting in!"  
  
The first voice resumed, "As a token of our gratitude, please accept these..."  
  
Two of the larger sized freighter ships, with their weapons lowered, warily came closer to the Massive in case of a negative response.  
  
"The contain most of our nutriment supply..." the voice explained.  
  
Tallest Red turned to a communications officer in the balcony, "You, check what's inside them."  
  
"At once, My Tallest!"  
  
Tallest Red turned to Tallest Purple, "Phfft! What could they possibly have that we would consent?" he said out loud as if making sure the other ships heard him.  
  
"My Tallests!" the communications officer exclaimed, "Both freighter ships are full of snacks!"  
  
Tallest Red's antennae immediately perked up, "Accept! Accept! Accept!" he said, jumping in anticipation.  
  
The two freighters positioned themselves on either side of the Massive as two large tubes extended themselves from the Massive's surface and attached on the freighter's access latch, sucking up its contents like an oversized vacuum cleaner. It was only a few moments before the last candy bar was taken and newly stamped with the Irken symbol as a representation of its new ownership. The freighters (lightened now) returned to their squadron.  
  
"We are glad you accepted out token," the voice said.  
  
"Yes," the other voice continued, "Now we must leave, our planet needs our defenses."  
  
The 20 ships turned around, facing a bright dot on the black background, seemingly, their planet. Their engines roared simultaneously before they dashed out of the Massive's presence.  
  
Tallest Purple turned to Tallest Red, an idiotic smile plastered on his face.  
  
"Saw that Red? Yeah, it is wasn't for MY butting in...something bad...would have happened."  
  
Tallest Red crossed his arms, "To THEM! Besides, what are you expecting of me? An apology?"  
  
"Nah. I'd probably wouldn't know what to do with your apology...but I would like it if you admit that I profited from this."  
  
"My Tallests," the red communications officer of before called out, "Uh...we are slightly out of course. Should we set to our original coordinates or continue in this direction?"  
  
"Hmm...return to our coordinates!" ordered Tallest Purple.  
  
"Remain in this course!" ordered Tallest Red.  
  
The Tallests looked at each other, slightly annoyed with a sarcastic smile.  
  
"Okay Purple, you had your fun for today now it's my turn and I say to return to out original route!"  
  
"Well, I'm not going to just hand over the fun to you that easily!"  
  
"You're so stubborn!"  
  
"And you can be so obnoxious!"  
  
"But it's MY turn Purple and you know it!"  
  
"Though luck!"  
  
"Geesh! You can act like such a spoiled smeet sometimes!"  
  
"Yeah, well you know what I think of you...?!"  
  
The rest of the communications officers crew sighed and moaned loudly in frustration, glaring at the red communications officer that had posed the question throwing pencils and other similar materials at him.  
  
The purple communications officer threw himself at the dashboard,  
  
"You just HAD to get them started again..."  
  
FIN 


End file.
